Thursday, 18 February 2010


THE GETTING OFF YOUR BANGER IN A CONVERTED BARN LADS is going to be 22 lads in a barn in the lakes playing darts, pool, footy, and getting off their banger in whichever way each individual prefers.


the veritable smorgasboard of characters to have graced the email lads threads include:





Thursday Footy

Thursday footy is hanging in the balance. We might not have enough players. Ill let you know how it turns out.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

sports soccer

I worked in sports soccer for half a shift after i dropped out of uni
in first year. worst day of my life. turned up at 8 am and had to go round
the back entrance in speke retail park. got searched by security. got
told to just sort out tee shirts on the shop floor and did that for
four hours. got told to go on my lunch. got searched on the way out.
went to mcdonalds. questioned the real value of the job seeing as it was 3.20 an hour or something. decided to jib it off and went home.

The irony is that now i think that sports soccer is amazing. I love going in there and just taking it all in. You can get loads of stuff and its cheap. The staff in there always seem pretty upset to be there and i take heart in the fact that ive experienced their pain for four hours of my life. Im always that little bit nicer to them. Last time i was in there the bird pumped up my ball for me...that experience led a pretty funny email about my trip to sports soccer but ive lost it. maybe one of the email lads has it saved. who knows? how excited you must be at the prospect of reading it!

Friday, 12 February 2010

Nacho heaven, bib hell

TK Email Lad

Last night was nacho night. It was boss! Me bird went to home bargains
on her dinner and bought a bag of blag doritos and some salsa. She had
previously bought a tin of Gillian Mckeiths refried beans a couple of
weeks back. We also had a turkey breast knockin around in the fridge
that needed using up. We already had cheese, so all that was left to buy
was sour cream.

We swung by penny lane retail park on the way home. First off we went to
iceland to get milk, eggs, yoghurts, green beans, a pizza and juice. I
like iceland cos practically everything is a quid or 2 quid. There's no
fannying about with coppers. We bought six items and it cost 6 quid. See
what I mean?

You may remember in my last blog that I made reference to steven cooper
who has appeared 'missing' on the iceland milk bottle for the past 6
months. Well, just days after writing that blog, his face suddenly
disappeared off the bottles. He hasn't even been replaced by some other
missing mad ed. They've just jibbed off the whole 'have you seen this
fella?' milk bottle vibe and opted for the standard 'this is a bottle of
milk and nothing else' deal. I'm assuming that this means steven
cooper's festering corpse has been found.

I came up with the awesome idea of accompanying the nachos with a
tortilla wrap. Me bird originally planned to lash the cut up turkey
breast in with the nachos, but I put it to her that this would mean our
tea would consist of us sharing what would essentially be a plate of
crisps with knobs on. For some reason this didn't sit well with me.
Although the nachos would be amazin and take a plate of crisps to a
whole new level, I thought the addition of a tortilla wrap featuring
said turkey would make it more of a meal.

[Interesting side note; we tend to buy turkey and not chicken because
turkey is generally well cheaper. Plus, it's mega cheap in netto. In my
opinion, once it's covered in sauces and stuff, it pretty much tastes
the same as chicken anyway.]

Suffice to say, nacho night was a roaring success. With hindsight, maybe
we didn't need the tortilla wraps as the nachos themselves were mega
filling. Afterwards, we stumbled to the couch and continued to watch
neighbours, which is becoming more and more surreal with every episode.

The neighbours end credits is my cue to get ready for Thursday night
footy. Thursday night footy features ste, dave & graeme of the email
lads fame. Today, email lad ste expressed via email that he wasn't happy
with the teams picked by email lad graeme. He didn't think it would be a
good game. I am always of the opinion that the team with the right
attitude is always victorious.

As I entered the picton car park in my car, I suddenly realised that I'd
forgotten the bibs. I was in disbelief as I'm generally very good when
it comes to remembering things like bibs. Bibs are essential to any game
of 5 a side in my opinion. A game without bibs turns in to a farce
pretty quickly. It was 19:52. The game started at 20:00. I had to make a
decision. If I go back home now, I'd probably make it back for 20:05. I
decided that a 55 minute game with bibs was better than a 60 minute game
without bibs. I made the sacrifice and put my foot down.

I've never driven so fast in all my life, except for every single time
I've ever been on a motorway. As I drove I thought about how foolish I'd
been to forget the bibs, especially as dan had phoned me moments before
I left to ask me to bring the bibs. It was 19:57 when I got back home. I
was knocking on the door like a mad man. Me bird took what seemed like a
lifetime to answer but what was in actual fact more like 45 seconds. But
still, it was time I didn't have. After grabbing the bibs in a frenzy, I
got back in the car, checked the mirrors, indicated, then floored it
back to picton.

As I approached the footy cages, I gasped in horror as there appeared to
be nowhere to park. This feeling of impending doom was swiftly followed
by a wave of relief as, on second look, there was clearly a place to
park. Bibs in hand, I raced towards the cage, expecting to see that the
game had already kicked off. It was 20:03. Imagine my surprise when I
saw that the players from the previous game were just exiting the pitch.
I was on time, just. As I got the bibs out of the bag, I felt that my
decision to go back home had been vindicated.

During the game, and as a direct result of my decision to go back for
the bibs, I made an incisive pass.....straight to Dan, a player on the
opposing team! Dan was quite far away, wearing dark blue top under the
red bib. I passed it straight to feet, thinking it was hooper, who was
wearing the barcelona home shirt (red and dark blue stripes). A
combination of my rubbish eyesight and the bibs was to blame. This error
of judgement was made more shocking by the fact that hooper was in goal
for our team at the time. What he would have been doing on the edge of
our opponents box, I don't know. Lol, the lads.

The team me and email lad ste were on ended up winning by a short
margain. We fought to the bitter end and proved that old saying to be
correct. "You can do it (if you) put your back in to it" - ice cube.

Maddyneds08 vs Specsavers

The ongoing maddyneds08 vs specsavers contact lense department continues...

I went to my contact lense appointment at 12.50. I went up to the desk and told them I had an appointment for a contact lense test. The girl said "ok take a seat" so i sat down. There was a specsavers magazine with vic reeves on the front so i had a look at that. Some nice frames in there. Then the girl said "where you told not to wear your lenses" and i was like "sorry?" and she said again " were you told not to wear your lenses?" and bearing in mind i was wearing my glasses i said "im not wearing my lenses". She then said " you should have been told to wear your lenses". So i think her original question was meant to be " didnt anyone tell you to wear your lenses to the appointment?". I tried to make some sort of gesture which summed up the fact that her original question had in fact sounded like "didnt anyone tell you not to wear lenses?" but she didnt seem to get it.

She didnt say anything so i was just like erm ok. So i just went back to the magazine. Then she said "so do you want to have a contact lense test then buy lenses" so i was like "YES!". Then she just went off. At this point i wasnt sure what was going on. Was i allowed to go to the contact lense appointment without wearing contacts or what? She just didnt bother to fill me in on what was happening. I hate that. So i just sat there not really sure.

After about 5 minutes i was called into the appointment. So obviously the whole thing about having to wear lenses is a joke. I sat down in the chair and the optician said, "so what do you want from us today?" I was like "erm i dont really know what you mean your staff told me I have to come to this appointment to buy new lenses, so i guess yeah i want you to test my eyes then i want to buy new lenses" Then she was like "im afraid theres no way round it im sorry i have to test your eyes before you can buy lenses" and i was like " YEAH I KNOW ITS FINE! I JUST WANT TO GET ON WITH IT". I really was getting annoyed.

So then she put some dye in my eyes and set the corneas hadnt been damaged so i could get the same lenses again. Then she said "unfortunately your next eye test is due in june so you can only buy new lenses until may at which point you will have to have another lense test at the same time as your new eye test so you will have to pay another 20 pound for the lense test" By this point the multilayered procedural rules of specsavers' contact lense department were starting to annoy me so i just said ok.

Then she said " what your best off doing is buying a massive amount of lenses now and then you can delay the next one if you dont really want your eyes testing in june". So i said"well i just want 30 lenses, i play footy twice a week so thats 15 weeks worth, should be fine"

She said ok" no problem im happy to allow you to get lenses". I have no idea why its such a big deal!! So i just said "thanks." She said "it will be 20 pound for your appointment here today which i have just done and 20 pound for 30 lenses but if you buy sixty lenses for x amount we will waive the original fee..." i just zoned out.

I said no i will just pay 30 lenses and pay for this appointment.

I went outside to pay. The girl on the til said "thats 20 pounds please". I had no idea what was going on i had 40 pounds in my hand and she said it 20. So i just gave her 20 and left. Have i robbed specsavers or did the original woman just make a mistake? I have no idea. All i know is that i have 30 contact lenses but it took about a week to get it sorted.

Monday, 8 February 2010


On Saturday I got up at 9 am. I was playing football at 10 am. I wanted to get up a bit earlier to just get mentally and physically prepared for football. I had a bananna and some water then I got into the shower. I use soap in the shower because i dont really like shower gel. I also washed my hair. I think a lot of the people who play football dont shower before but it makes me feel refreshed and ready to play. I dont think i could ever play in the morning without having a shower first it would make me feel a bit weird. I got out of the shower and got dried then i put on my nike tee shirt. Its dead thin and prevents sweat its great. I got it in sports soccer on a day when i went a bit crazy and bought a training jacket, shin pads, a world cup 2010 ball, some of those maddy shorts and the tee shirt.

I put my real madrid top on over my t shirt then i put on the maddy shorts. I put on one pair of small socks then my footy socks then my shin pads underneath.

I put my boots in a boot bag. I dont really need a boot bag i just like the idea of it. In fact its more hassle because i have to wear another pair of trainers and carry the boot bag. But its good to keep money and phone in during football.

I met stu at 9.30 and we drove to football with the intention of booting the ball about. The pictches were locked. We stood on the grass verge and passed the ball to one another. At about 9.50 condy and heaney arrived. I though that condy was andy maton and asked if he knew what time the gates were open. It turned out it was actually condy but i still asked him the same question again. He said no. I didnt have my phone so i asked if condy did. He did but noone had the number to the picton place.

At 10 paul jone, dave spoons and a few other turned up. The guy let us in. The pitch was the middle pitch. I asked if he could open the other one in case we knocked the ball over and he said no. The pitch on the other side was being used so that wasnt a worry.

We kicked the ball about to warm up and i kicked it over the fence. I knew it was going to happen. I emasculated myself and just admitted that i wouldnt be able to climb the fence due to my lack of upper body strength. This is something im currently working on by going to the gym. Stu took the mantle and climbed the fence. AMAZING!

The game kicked off. It was really rubbish.

It turned out Paul Jones was watching the game at his new place. AMAZING! I got a lift home off gareth and got another shower. It is at this point that the shower earlier in the morning seems superfluous but i know ill keep the tradition up. When i got out the shower i couldnt see because i always take my contacts out when i get home. I asked caroline where my glasses where and she said over there. I couldnt see still. I felt around and found them on top of my record player. AMAZIN. I put my glasses on and i could see.

I got dressed, made a chicken sandwhich and then left. I got the bus to smithdown road and crossed the road. I walked towards dovedale road. I rang pauls door. He has an awesome doorbell. Its flush with the actual mechanism ie it doesnt just out its just flush with the whole door. I thought that was good and the action was amazing. The door is also amazing. The house was also amazing.

I sat on the floor because even though there was a place on the couch i though it should go to paul as it was his house. He was kind enough to offer but i refused. It was ok on the floor coz there was a box of biscuits next to me.

I had my sandwhich and also had a beer and some crisps.

The match kicked off. Also present was david spoons and tk of email lad fame, laura, leah and carney. I realised that liverpool have won their last three home games and an email lad has been present at each. If we lose against arsenal we will know why.

We beat everton.

We went to penny lane wine bar and i ordered a pint of amstel. Tony and laura had some chips and tony put brown sauce on his chips. I didnt really know what to say about that but its just a bit different isnt it.

I was torn between going home at this point or going to watch the wrestling at grahams. I opted for the wrestling. Me and simon left the pub and went to buy beers. We ran from allerton road to smithdown road and bought beers. It was a funny time running down the road for beers. Then we ran back and i bought a pizza. When we were waiting for the pizza we rolled our jeans up on one leg it wasnt even funny but it was funny.

Then we went to grahams. I watched the wrestling then after about 2 hours i realised it had been a long day. I was falling asleep. I went outside after saying bye and got a taxi home. When i got home i realised i still had a can of coke from the takeaway. It was really refreshing to drink it.


Email lad David and Emal lad ste play badminton quite a lot. We're not very good but its good exercise. Personally I find individual sports better for keeping fit because I'm selfish and not a good team player. I also dont like losing so i try really hard when I'm on my own because I cant blame anyone else. Email Lad Tony also used to play but then he went travelling. We are currently introducing To back into the badminton circle.

Most of the time we play in the ancillary hall in Garston sports centre. I like it in there because you get a room for youself. Sometimes the light is a bit shit though and you cant see the cock. They've changed the lights but it still not great. Sometimes we play in Picton as well. The hall in there is like an old school gym with green tiles. I like it in there but last time there was loads of condensation on the floor and i slipped up.

Me and ste are both members of lifestyles so we dont have to pay. though for some reason when Ste booked it online the other day it said he was going to charge him. Ste asked me to log in as him to cancel the booking as he had a meeting and didnt have time. So I did. I then logged on as myself and booked it again and I got it for free. Lifestyles are always messing up Ste's account.

A while ago, we used to play badminton every monday with some of our friends in Crosby. We used to meet half way in Walton so that our journey time would be about the same. I liked playing different players, but they'd always makes us play doubles. I dont like doubles because then it becomes a team game again (see above)

One time me and ste though we'd invest in some feather cocks. We bought two packs and it worked out at about 10 sheets each. Ste found some deal online. When we played the cocks felt weird, but when you get used to it its pretty good and fast. Unfortunately the cocks get damaged really quick and we decided it wasnt very cost effective. Also our WAGS played badminton once and robbed our cocks, damaging a few of them. We werent happy.

A typical point in badminton goes like this: Steve will hit it to me and i hit it back then steve will hit it to me again and i'll manage to hit it back, again steve'll hit it back to me and yet again i'll
hit it back but play a drop shot, steve will miss it. 1 - 0 to me. I'll then hit it to steve and he'll hit it back....

Me and Ste are playing tonight and I hope to win. We booked wednesday as well but thats because I forgot Liverpool are playing Arsenal. I'll have to cancel it. Dont worry I wont get charged.


been listening to some music whilst in work today.

been listening to slowcore bands. Damien Jurado used to be in a hardcore band with the dude from pedro the lion. Both were included in my slowcore mash up today. I also listened to some other slow core bands including idaho, mark eitzel and rivulets. Dont really know what slowcore is apart from its acoustic/alt country/melancholy. The sort of stuff you would listen to in the 90s while it was raining outside your window. I think i was too young in the 90s to be into slowcore but im into it now.


Sunday, 7 February 2010

what a day

i went to the gym today. what a day.

Friday, 5 February 2010

Ste's Email Lad rap

The Lads Rap - It's a bit shit i know!

The E-mail Lads are hard as hell
Graham ,Tee , Ste Dave Aswell
Watch our lips, and we will spell
'cause we don't just play, but we can mail as well

The e-mail lads.
The e-mail lads

My idea was to send e-mails and blogs into a bastion of invincibility...
Gates had that idea he'd have conquered the bloody world
Type on... type on... with puns... in your heart... and you'll never e-mail

Alright Steve’o
Sound as a pound
I'm cushty la but my blog page is down
The rest of the lads ain't got this issue
I’ll have get them to post them for us
Well I'm typing now, I'm mailing for fun

I'm your Spoons, the number one
You can take the mick, coz I suck my thumb
Any more lip and I’m mailin ur mum

Alright Toz, we're great me and you
But the other lads don't have full internet like we do
No they don't type like we do, do they kidda
We'll have to teach em to send e-mails propah
Type on... type on... with mails... in your inbox... and you'll ne... ver
get bored in work

U 3 e-lads are always joking
I'm gonna show you some serious punning
I come from Duke St, my name is MaddyNeds
When I do my blogs the net goes bananas
How's he doing the E-mail lads rap?
He's from just south of the China Arch
He gives us stick about out restricted company internet policy’s
'cause he’s got full access!
Yeah, but we got the Lads

Well I came to work looking to get paid
So come on Keenan man, give us a e-mail
'cause I'm sat at me desk paying your mail will get me out the blues
I'm very big down under, but my wife disagrees
She’s had John Terry’s, but then who hasn’t
They got more e-mail than all us put together
No-one knows quite what to expect
When the e-mail machine's in full effect
Well us 4 lads sure can rap
It's about time we had a displinary for it
So come on managers, see if you can
'cause if anyone can, Bigley can
Bigley-can... Bigley-can... Bigley-can... Bigley-can...

G-man's split personality

For all those who know email lad Graeme well, they know there are two sides to his personality. For those who dont, I've written a brief description with accompanying pictures.

There is maddyneds08, who likes beer, football, puns, sending emails when in work, getting leathered dead quick and having to leave early on nights out. He looks a bit like this:

Then there is sensibleneds10 who likes red wine, being a lawyer, dragging port across a table, and getting to know important members of the European Patent Office (actually, like maddyneds08 he also likes emails and puns). Sensibleneds10 looks like this:

This Blog Is Real

The email lads played footy at picton 5 a side last night.

The email lads found themselves on the same team with Stuart Monteith backing them up. He's always there at right back wanting the ball. We were up against a behemoth opposition of Sam "Walky" Walkerdine, Matt "Hooper" Hooper, Chris "The Mac" Macintosh and Heany "The Heany" Heany.

Before the match we usually stand about outside the pitch and stretch or kick the ball about. Sam Walky Walkerdine was full of beans and asked me if this blog was real. Of course it real! (THIS IS LIKE WHERE WOODY ALLEN BREAKS THE FOURTH WALL OR WHATEVER AND TALKS TO THE VIEWER...THE BLOG ISNT REAL ITS JUST A METAPHOR FOR THE MUNDANE EXISTENCE OF HUMANITY). So yeah i told him of course its real.

Then we proceeded to the pitch. Sam WALKY Walkerdine kept asking questions, as i said, he was full of beans. So next he asks me what Maddyneds08 is. This opened a whole can of worms. I told him we used to do a forum called the pfas2ksite and my lewinsky (moniker) was maddyneds08. I told him i was thinking of getting MADDY NEDS 08 on my real madrid top. Sam asked me what neds where...balls? I said either tits or balls. Then i said maybe a hybrid of the two ie TALLS...then sam said BITS which i though was a lot better. I ended this discussion by saying "and thats the origin of maddyneds08" ...tony was running by and overheard this and commented that it was funny tailend of a conversation. It was funny.

The game kicked off. The email lads and stu went about 7-1 up with glorious one touch football. it was amazin. The other team fought back but we just won it by about 4 goals in the end. A great game and a great experience for the email lads and stu.

We start at 8 and finish at 9. I had left my money in stus car so i went to get it. Turns out it was in my coat pocket the whole time so i neednt have gone all the way back to the car to get it. Hilarious. Me and chris mcintosh only had fivers and steve carps was running out of change fast. I ended up paying for me and chris on the proviso that he would cover me next time. So it was all sorted out.

I got in stus car and he drove me home. We drove past all of the bike lads on the way back and waved to them through the car window.

On the way home stu was telling me a recipe for a chinese variant of patatas sounded nice. I got out of the car by china town.How ironic.

I took my socks off. I wear two pairs of sock now because my boots are pretty tight. So i took both pairs off. I also have these weird slip things that go round my shin and keep the shin pads in place so i took them off as well. I banged my footy boots to get all the mud off then went into my flat.

I had made some pasta earlier and only had a bit before footy so i had some more.

Then i played on fifa. Im not very good at it but im getting better. I play on legendary. I was barcelona manager for about 7 games including pre season. I had drawn with real madrid in the league and then won but i still got sacked. Im not the manager of exeter in league two and im doing alright. I cant seem to score but i create lots of chances. My time will come. Im glad im playing on legendary i only changed after dave spoons told me he always played on legendary so as an email lad i thought i should do the same.

After fifa i went to bed.

The Email Lads

Graeme Murray

to Steve, Anthony, David
show details 9:40 AM (26 minutes ago)

The email lads: Amazin last night there were loads of one touch flick
and everything it was off the charts!

The gig lads: Im not goin the gig im pretty poor and I have to give ka
choo the rest of my atp money soon

The Lost Lads: i've never seen a full episode of lost i got bored when
i saw and episode with a polar bear and it was unexplainable i cant
get into it. Maybe ill give it another go at some point

The Real Ale Lads: i've never drunk a full pint of real ale i got
bored when i had my first sip and it was called Polar Bear it was
unexplainable and i couldnt get into it. Maybe ill give it another go
at some point

The Mercury 13 Lads: Whats goin on!

The Leaky Roof Lads: I hope the roof sorts itself out mate I cant
imagine you not going to ATP

The Dave Basset Lads: The "It's Alright To Have Bits and Pieces On the
Side" Lads

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

A song for Δομήνικος Θεοτοκόπουλος

The email lads have written a song which we're sure will be sung by the Kop very soon

He's Big,
He's Red,
He's got a massive head,
Δομήνικος Θεοτοκόπουλος!
Δομήνικος Θεοτοκόπουλος!

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Ste's Blog Entry #2

Blog Entry #2

This is complete Bullsh!t! The e-mail lads have all gone blog nuts and
left me behind! It feels like Macaulay Culkin in home alone! It's not
fair, I'm tempted to ask one of the customer IT lads to allow it for me
but it quite naughty! We all get to create an account but my internet at
home is broken so basically I'm totally left out! Your only reading this
because I've had to type it in e-mail and ask one of them to post it! If i
was in the army with you would you leave me behind to die if I got shot? I
know I would come back and get you!

Cheers arl-mail lads!!

What is the Email Lads part 2

I would like to extend the theme of "What is the Email Lads" and focus on the indentities of those involved. I hope by including this picture, our readers will be able to better relate with our contributors.


Steve's Blog: bigleyblogspot - Off it's head!

Tuesday 2 February 2010

This morning was not as bad as yerterday morning but I'm still feeling the
effects of Saturday night! This was also evident when I got battered by
Dave at badminton lastnight. I wake up every morning in a cold house
because although I've lived here for nearly 2 years and I've still not
taught myself to program the central heating it's like the burglar alarm I
need to work out how to set it for downstairs only for when I goto bed! I
suppose it's just me being lazy but the control panel for these things
aren't the best and I instantly give up!

Nat's car is off the road at the moment so I have to take her to work, I
don't mind doing this as it's only 5 mins away from my work, Natty has
made me dinner which is amazing because it's a nice healthy salad! She
does this because she can do her makup in the car so she has a little extra

Yippeeee It's bin day, I got the bags ready last night so all I need to do
is put them out I can't find the keys to the back gate so i just lash them
over the pall and hope that nobody is walking past!. Shirts depress me. I
bought a load of new ones last year and since I've put weight on they feel
tight! I'm on the case of fixing that problem though! I check the
downloads i set going last night and am annoyed to find that the people i
was downloading off had pretty much gone off line when i left the pc so
it;s been on all night and downloaded nothing! Soulseek is a pain for this

I drop Natty off at the hospital, the traffic is mental and it takes 10
mins to get her in, there are so many bad drivers out there I love
shouting abuse at bad drivers! some old hag trying to get out of a space.
it's like watching the sketch from austin powers! It's a joke! she's
about 70 and can't even turn her head! Maybe I'm being sly but I don't
think she should be allowed on the road! I also hate it when people drive
2 slow on the motorway! there should be a minimum speed to 60.

I get to work at 9:20 and it's still raining! I goto clock in and find
that i'm missing my wallet! great! Can't clock in!! I don;t know why I
clock in anyway! I'm salary!! idiots!!! Oh it's that time again 10:15
time for a poo! everyday I like the fact that I have a turd timetable! Ok
I'm back, hmm that was a bit runny for my liking! I don't feel ill but I
probably should based on that deposit!

Hours pass slowly I'm working on 3 databases at the moment, I try and
spend an hour at a time on each also replying to e-mail from my mates and
also checking for deals on hotukdeals website. If it wasn;t for these 2
things I think my working life would be 100000 times worse than it is!!

Everytime I Look out the window in my office I wonder if it's ever going
to stop raining, I again have planned to go for a run tonight even if it's
only once round the park, it's better than not going! but i'll have swim
some of it at this rate..

David's Blog - Its basically a place where I can copy what Graeme and Tony write


Today I woke up at quarter to 8. I'm supposed to be in work at 8 so
decided I had loads of time and went back to sleep. Woke up at 7:59
and decided I best get up because on average it takes 10 minutes to
get to work, which is exactly ten times the amount of time I had. I
eventually got into work at 8:18 to be greeted with a look of
annoyance from James Mark Mounsey. He didnt say anything though, so I
must have got away with it.

As there was no tennis to watch, this morning I perfected my score on
Desktop Tower Defense. In my opinion this is the ultimate in flash
Internet games and hope one day someones makes an Xbox Live Arcade
version of this game. I also emailed "the email lads" and did a tiny
bit of work.

I went for my lunch at quarter past 12. I tried to go at 12, but
Mounsey said I was late this morning and couldnt (shit, I didnt get
away with it). After receiving advice from the email lads as to what I
should have for my lunch, I opted for a lentel soup, bread roll, a
green apple and a blackcurrant ribena. It was nice but now i'm still

Normally on tuesday's I have a band practice. This imvolves leaving
work at 4 and getting to the practice room at 5 (I normally have a
half in the ship just before). We then wait in the room for half an
hour as Lucy is always late. We then "practice" or just sit around and
do nothing. I'm not going to be doing this today thouhg as Lucy has
just cancelled. I'll probably just go home and throw some arrows.
Darts is my newest passion, but I'm shit. When I realise this I revert
to my true passion and play Xbox all night. Then I got to bed too
late, and end up being late for work again.

Graemes Blog: The Hot Spot For All Blogging Enthusiasts

Tuesday 2 February 2010

It's been a long time since my last blog. Theres been a lot going on
in my life, some of you may be aware of all the problems, some may
not, needless to say i've been through the mill these past few weeks.
I wont go into it here but its been difficult. I shouldnt really talk
about it here but its been really hard.

This morning I skipped breakfast and chose instead to update my Ipod
as I have downloaded approximately one hundred and sixty songs last
night. It took quite a while to upload so I untied my shoelaces during
this time, usually I just force my feet into the shoes but I saw the
oppurtunity for a new experience and took it feet first.

I set off for work and listened to some of the newly downloaded music
on said Ipod. The band I listened to is called Midlake. Very very
poignant stuff which had me thinking of times gone by and generally
pretending to have feelings.

I arrived at work at 9.30. Slightly late I admit but I am on flexi
time. I dont really know what this means as everyone in the office is
about 15 hours down on their hours and noone seems to care. Monkey see
monkey do and all that.

At 11.50 I had to leave the office for some lunch because I failed to
eat breakfast and the knock on effects of this were devastating. I ate
at the hole in the wall cafe and chose a chicken roll with salad and a
small portion of chips. I washed down this lovely meal with an ice
cold can of 7-up.

I am now back at the office writing my blog. I usually sit down in the
chair and type onto the keyboard various words that eventually form
sentences that form paragraphs that culminate in this blog.

Tony's honest, gritty, self obsessed, heart on his sleeve blog - Tuesday 2nd feb 2010


Today, i got up at 6:30am and had some shreddies. This was made possible by the fact that I nipped to iceland on the way home last night and bought some milk as we'd ran out. It's £1 for a 4 pinter. This is well cheaper than any other supermarket. There's a picture of a guy on the bottle called steven cooper. He's missing. He's on every single milk bottle in iceland and has been for the past 6 months. I'm guessing he hasn't been found yet. I certainly haven't seen him.

I'd prepared some butties last night, so I got them out the fridge and put them in my bag. I had no option but to have pork luncheon meat butties as the meat was just about to go off. I couldn't bare the thought of seeing all that pork luncheon meat go to waste. Asda smart price pork luncheon meat costs about 60p for 20 slices. God only knows what's in it. Maybe it's steven cooper?

At 7am I got in my car and set off for work. I work in an office in liverpool. I'm in the office right now.

On tuesdays I always bring my footy gear with me as I play footy on the wirral at 8pm. I leave my footy gear in the car boot. After work i go straight to my mums for my tea as she lives on the wirral. This kills two wirral dwelling birds with one liverpool dwelling stone, saving a potential £2.80 in tunnel fare, not to mention petrol money. That's nearly 12 pints of steven cooper milk!

At 7:30pm, after listening to my mum talk all the way through neighbours, I put my footy gear on. At 7:40pm I wave goodbye to my mum, give her the obligatory beep and set off for the oval in bebington.

Confidence is usually high prior to the game. Usually, after 5 minutes, my confidence has been shattered by the fact that everyone else is well better at footy than me.

After the game I drive straight back to liverpool a broken man, to a house that me and my girlfriend rent. The 6 month lease is up at the end of march. We should really think about renewing this soon.

When I enter the house, the first thing I do is get a shower. Our shower isn't very powerful. I'm told that this is because our combi-boiler is at the same level as the shower. If only the combi-boiler was in the loft. This is quite literally a pipe dream.

After suffering the wrath of a sub-standard shower, I stick my PJ's on. I think Charlie Brooker's newswipe in on at 10:30pm. I'll probably watch that then go to bed.

What is The Email Lads?

What is The Email Lads?

This is a question that has rumbled through the crumbling corridoors of many seats of learning in recent times.

The Email Lads is basically 4 lads who send emails to each other.

The Email Lads!

The Greek!

The Email Lads go to the match

I went to the match on saturday it was at anfield. I wasnt supposed to be going but this lad carney slept on some birds couch and pulled out at the last minute. Incidently he also pulled out of footy that morning which put a real spanner in the works. We actually ended up getting beat by a team with one less than us though so I dont know where the spanner in the works was surely he took a spanner out the works and we put it back in because we were rubbish.

i met david by the statue of a naked man at lewises. I went to buy a hat and gloves first because it is always cold at the match.

We shared a taxi to the stadium with two guys. One of them was really loud and obnoxious. He must have been from another planet because when the taxi pulled up at he got out and paid through the window instead of paying through the little gap. The taxi was 5 quid. Me and david offered half the money but he refused. He was a big man. Why didnt he just take the money? It was weird. He told us to have a bovril on him. I got a beer instead and david got a burger. We also sampled the Cream of The Kop Ice Cream

We were sitting in the left corner of the anfield road end. It was a bit of a bad view of the left wing when we were attacking the Kop but we could see because we could stand as there was noone behind us. However there was a big drop behind us which was a bit scary. There were two very drunk men next to us who were from the south. How can you support liverpool and be from the south i dont get it. There were also two asian girls behind us who knew every word to every song. One of them had a pair of binoculars.

At half time two members of the public did a race where the dribbled the ball around sombreros and deck chairs it was rubbish. It was over in about 20 seconds and one man one. They were both crap at footy. The man one 200 pounds thomas cook vouchers which in the great scheme of things isnt an amazing prize. He will probably have to fork out more money to get a decent holiday.

We had scored just before half time and then we scored another midway through the second half. It was all a bit lacklustre in the end though.

We walked home from the game all the way to town. It didnt take very long. We bumped into a mutual friend of mine and has mate during the walk. They said they had to get on as they were late but then they just walked ten metres ahead of us for the rest of the walk. it was mental.

We ended up going to the ship and mytre for a drink then we went home.
The Greek is amazing